bye July

So bye bye July. See ya next year. Time flies so fast. URGHHHH.

GMA7 already plugged the upcoming David Cook concert, so the whole town is now talking about it. OMG. I have to start making hukay of the money so I can buy tickets. I can watch it alone if no one comes with me! But that would be, uhm, lonely. Basta, have to SAVE money, so give me TIPID TIPS!!! I'll probably die if I don't get to see the show, David is one of my loves, so the SOP, SEE HIM.

Also heard that Ramiele Malubay and Danny Noriega will be here in December. David Archuleta in March '09. Now, I'm waiting for Jason Castro to bring his hotness here. I swear. We're all gonna die!!!

"Your hands didn't touch mine, but I know they're cold." AWWW. IDK. I feel something cold towards Kevin. I think its time to stop being a stalker, stop liking him. There's no use even if I like him. I'm just wasting time. He doesn't fucking know it. I'm a loser for the 55th time. Sorry.

And my strat plan should be started on the first day of August. Should start habang may oras pa. Shiznits. There are a lot of things to do, and the good thing is I haven't started anything yet. I'm soooo cooool.

Bye. Flying away.

hu hu ha!

My body is in misery because of the challenges in the LTS. But twas fun. I began to realize a lot of things, gained new friends and knew other people deeply. We shared two days and a night together. Started with glances as strangers and part ways with smiles and taps of new friends. The day ended fine. The sad thing is this is my first, and last LTS.

DC in PH. I will save for him. I will see him. I will see David Cook. I will kill you if I don't see him.

For this week:
Hunt Kevin more!!!
Stratmark Seminar on Tues
Do some parts of the final requirements
Sleep before 9pm
and stop going out at night.

surprise!

Went to school under the heat of the sun. It was flaming hot. I was grilled to the bones and my sweat glands were very active. It's not summer. Its supposed to be raining very hard. I thought.

I was the 2nd placer in our Accounting class. Its a good thing because it was my second take. I'm fond of number two. And just mix it up. It was the first time I got a nice grade in a class where numbers were the deal. I want to keep it up.

Renz is dating someone. OUCH. He is dating Carlene Aguilar. That hurt, a bit.

And this is the SURPRISE that made my DAY! DAVID COOK is having a solo concert tour, and starts in Asia, and guess where??? In the PHILIPPINES!!! OMG. I was very excited about this concert even if the details weren't that clear. I MUST SEE HIM. DEAD OR ALIVE.

LTS tomorrow. I'm gone overnight. Be back on Sunday.
Have a happy weekend. :)

you made my day

Shet. Napakahaba ng break ko ngayon araw na to. Ang lakas ng ulan, kidlat at kulog. Lahat mukhang malas. Nakakatamad. Nakakaantok. Nakakabadtrip. Nakakapraning.

Nang makita ko si Kevin. Shit. Nagbago lahat. Napasmile na naman ako. Naging maayos ang lahat. Naging mabuti ang pakiramdam ko at nadrain lahat ng negative. Lahat sa paningin ko maganda. Lahat. Lahat.

Shet. Adik na ko. Hindi nya naman alam pa rin. Nakakahiya. Shet.

Shet ka rin Dan. Baka bago pa lang tayo i-break mo na ang heart ko. Hwag naman ganun. Mahal kita kahit anong mangyari.

sand timer

Happy birthday PHONEY. Yehes, its my old school phone's 2nd birthday. Despite all the tragic fall and everything we have gone through, I'll keep you. No one can ever replace you. Thinking of our memories makes me smile, through busy signals and operation time outs, loadless or not, you'll always be my love phoney.

Boop. Mood swing. I am officially starting to drown in paranoia. I have a month to prepare for my Strat Plan, and I haven't started anything yet. Thinking its an easy thing to do because I'm already FOURTH YEAR, and for God's sake, I have done many papers like this, with the help of my classmates. But TODAY, no one will catch me. ALONE will be the song for this subject. Fcukers. I can't type a single word when I face my laptop. I can't search for anything when I'm logged on the net. But I can blog anything I think about. Can I just pass this blog page to my prof? The time's running out and all I do today is rant, rant and rant some more. But I still have a life, ya know. I lost half of my gig life and some Eheads excitement because of random things in life. Shiznits. Shits.

BLOG HOPPING. My new hobby. Loves it. Gotta find new virtual friends to exchange links with. Just tag me if you wanna be loved forever. Come, invite your friends and be part of my fan base. Hehe.

Choodles. *hoping to see Kevs today*

dizzy girl

I went to school with hangover. Shet. Screw Generoso. Pero next time ulit. Hahaha. Shet. Andameng naopen kagabe. But past is past. Eto ang mahirap saken. Di makamove on sa event. Haha.

We checked the StratMark prelim exams. Shet. 37 over 70 ako. Hindi obvious na bagsak? Pero dapat pasado prelim grade ko. Then nagbunutan na ng order ng presentation at defense. Pota. Wala pa rin akong company. 3rd batch kami ni Ferdie. Pero kahit kasabay ko si Bakla, hindi naman ako pwedeng kumapit. Kanya-kanya na to. Shet. Yung mga oras na nganga ako dapat ginagawa ko na ang papurrrr. I can't stop shet? Haha. NABABALIW NA KO. PROMISE.

Isa pang shet. Nakita ko si Kevs sa square. Napasmile na naman ako. Parang nawala sakit ng ulo ko?! Kaso yung kinain ko parang anytime isusuka ko. Nakakatakot. Pero gusto ko talaga si Kevs. Yiheee. Makita lang talaga sya masaya nako. May ibang saya saken. Yihee. Ambisyosa.

Okay, meet my new favorite guy. Shet. Dan Layus. Holy hotness ka rin. Eto na naman akooooooo. At ayan ka pahihirapan ako! Pero mahal kita.

I'll carry you home :)

*************************

I got the chance to see a movie two nights ago. 5 stars for What happens in Vegas. I fell in love with the movie because of its nice story. Imagine yourself having sex with a stranger, and marrying him. (but if the stranger looks like Ashton, its okay for me!!!!) They hit a $3M jackpot and because they were married, they had the trouble with dividing the money. They went on marriage counseling and stayed together for six months, away hiwalay, then ending sila pa rin naman. Hahaha. Basta ang ganda. Ngayon lang ako nakapanuod ulit. Buset.

drunk not love

I saw someone from the past. It was confirmed. There was no affection at all. I just checked on him if he was happy, and he seemed so. I drank the night away, and got the courage to murder I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing by Aerosmith. But I'm trying to do the David Cook version. LOL. Twas the first time that I sang a whole song in front of my friends. Then I met new people. Drunkards should stick together.

I went home with the smell of Satan's armpit. My mom was mad at me. But I knew she knew it.
Hey, I can drink. I'm not a kid anymore. Hahaha.

Love,
Phat

planned

I saw my special highschool friends a while ago. We nearly killed ourselves with funny stories when we were in highschool. A lot of things happen during those time. Terror teachers, long exams, cheating arrangements, field trips, recess time, copy cat assignments and all. To some, its the start of a first puppy love stint. Let's not forget the boys who made us fall on the floor whenever they pass by, a.k.a. Crushes. HIGSCHOOL is definitely one of the happiest part of my life.

Then we came up with a plan. "Tara, mag-organize tayo ng reunion." Its a good idea since we really miss those people na hindi naman namin everyday nakikita. Shet makikita ko mga classmates kong ungas. Pero sa section lang namin. Mukhang masaya. I'll be giving my two hands to help out. I want to see IV-Uranium, kahit 3/4 lang ng class.

It will be set on the first week of September. Basta ganon. Konting preparations. We want this to happen. Sana maraming makapunta.

************
Time is up for Prelims. Shet. Midterms na. Shet. Shet. Shet to infinity!!! Sa dami ng companies sa industriya, wala pa kong napipili para sa STRATMARK. Ayokong mamatay! Kelangan ko nang kumilos. Baka eto pa maging dahilan ng di pagkagrad. At alam nyo namang hindi pwede yun. Uumpisahan ko na promise. OMG. Promise yan kay Kevin. Kase nakita ko sya kaninaaaa. At syempre yung ngiti ko umabot ng gate 3 yata. Punyeta. Makita pa lang sya masaya na ko. Pag nakausap pa kaya pano na??? Shet. Di nya pa naman alam. Ulol kaseeeee.

Okay. Goodnight Yaya!

LOL

I spent almost half of the day laughing out loud. I'm so happy in school. I'm happy when I'm with my friends. I'm happy seeing the people I like and everything. Imagine that happiness. But going home, is the part where the credits roll. While going home, I return to myself. Screaming in silence, and weeping at times. This is why I hate silence so much. So mucho. Its so emo.

It sucks the whole out of me.

Meanwhile, I have a new set of audience (I believe?) and that made me smile today. I want to thank those who wasted their precious time to read my rants and everything here (also to my regular lurkers). I'd like to show my over appreciation.

And because of the new visitors here, I'm thinking of putting my ranting talent to the next level. I'm excited. Haha. You know, you don't know. I'm kidding yow.

Choodles!

P.S. I miss Mr. Tambourine Man.

penge naman ako nyan

Welcome to randomness. Yehes. (clap your hands!)

Fil-Am. I was amazed when I saw an American fan singing an OPM song. Yeah, he's an American singing Penge naman ako nyan. I was so amazed. Its Tagalog ya know?! I saw he's profile. He's into OPM artists like Sugarfree, Orange and Lemons, Itchyworms, etc. I think he's awesome. Check out this link to see the vid. Penge naman ako nyan.

Erase your Heads. I really mean ERASERHEADS here, the four piece band of Raimund, Ely, Marcus and Buddy. My uncles drew me into knowing Eheads and grew up with their music at my side. Who doesn't know them anyway???

The one night reunion concert is set to rock the CCP Grounds on AUGUST 30, 2008. Its sponsored by Marlboro. A red event I think. And I'm telling you, this will shake shake til you drop the local music industry. I'm one of the thousands of fans whose willing and excited to see the band play. I mean cmon! See them together again on stage at this time? That's one of the coolest and best scenarios I want to see! They're a legendary band that almost all of us look up to. Who wouldn't want to watch? I want to be there on that night, dead or alive. Haha. Clear the sked on that date. So come one, come all. Let's watch Eheads play. Make them repeat history.

I'm still waiting for admission or ticket infos. I really want to come on that concert!

Examadness. Yeah men. Three exams down. I felt so exhausted and my brain cells were used up. But I still have to beat other exams until Friday.

Viewer. Hey. I viewed the account. Haha. I'm a stalker. And fcuk I missed that even if it was one night only. But I still want it to die. You moron. Such a tease. Oh, moving on....

Crushed. I can't get it off my mind. I don't want to believe that Kevs has a gf. We're not yet a couple. Duh. Haha. But watevs, its a false alarm. He's single. I knew it!

that's not my name

I love this song. I think its pretty cool and funkeeeey. Haha.



They call me quiet girl,
But I'm a rrrrriooot.
(Am I really a riot?)

Mood swing.....

Prelim Exams this week. I need the night fresh air, my exam permit, a nice pen, a strong push, good reconditioned brain cells and Kevs. I need to see him. Para inspired ako. Bitch. LOL.

I saw his skinny friend sa school kanina. Hahaha. I know he was waiting for Kevs. Alam ko na agad? Pano kung di naman. Tapos, I was so disappointed kase wala yata syang FS account. Traditional ba sya? Shet. I know his brother's account, pero sya di ko mahanap sa friends nun. Pero am happy kase my sibs know his brother! Hahaha.

Soon to be in-laws!!! Wuhoo. In my dreams. Yehey!

truth

I'm dropping off a few lines here before sleeping--- the only thing I must be doing at this time of the day.

Many facts and opinions bombarded my day. But all were good. Now, I'm not clueless anymore to everything that's happening around me. I'm deaf and listening to other people's opinions should be done at least once a week.

Its not publicity.

Its not those words pulled by force and kept puking off the mouth.

Idk. It won't change anything. I'm happy the way it is.

But I'm still somehow thinking of things beyond the first quarter of the year.

Don't ask bitch.

rat rants

Okay sorry. Magtatagalog ako ngayon dahil ito ang gusto ko.

Una, ang sakit ng ulo ko. Ang sakit talaga. Ang daming laman at gusto kong bawasan. Actually, hindi naman mga problema to. Pinoproblema ko lang kasi wala akong magawa.

Pangalawa, maraming dapat umpisahan para matapos na. Akala ko madali na lang pag 4th year? Madaling antukin sa klase. Ewan ko.

Pangatlo, naghahanap pa rin ako ng tutulak sakin ng malakas. Shet talaga. Shet naman talaga ang lagi kong nasasabi.

Pang-apat, gusto kong manahimik. Kahit hindi ako magsalita man lang sa isang araw, pero parang ang hirap gawin. Gusto kong bawasan ang kadaldalan ko. Gusto ko lang. Kaso madaldal talaga ko.

Panglima, ang sarap matulog. Swear!!! Dahil ang haba ng tulog ko kagabi. Wala akong nagawang assignment. Kaya ngayon ko gagawin.

Bye. Pagod.

still.

I still miss Jason. I want to see him dance, strike a pose, make me laugh and most of all, hear him sing. I miss his eyes, lips, hands and his dreads that's sooo sexy. I miss the hotness he was spreading on stage. He caught me on fire. I miss everything about him. I'm a damsel trapped in his eyes. I'm burning within his holy hotness. This is no orgasm. I tell you. I'm just crazy.

I still love Jason Castro.

What about David Cook? IDK. I'm starting to feel awkward talking about him.
But... I love him, too. He was my first AI love. So there's still a little feeling left. I will still be here for him.


Brain cells. I really need to get my brain working. I need to condition myself for the challenges fucking my way this sem. I need to do a lot of term papers. A LOT OF THEM. This is the moment. I need to hold on my own hand. Because nobody else will.

I need a lot of inspiration. Or else I'll die. Or I can cut my throat now? So everything will end.
I will end. You will end reading this piece of shit.


Wait, have I told you that I'm crazy???

guilt trip

I was bombarded by loads of works to be done. I should do them now. But I can't find an inspiration or a strong push to go on. Times like this, are just, uh. ARGH. I wanna scream. I can't focus. I want to die. Then resurrect on Tuesday.

I miss my Grandfather. I miss him so much. Its been a while since he's gone. But still, I'm hurting. Whenever I think of him, I still feel the cut in my heart. The numerous cuts in my throat, wrists and in my heart. Its a guilt trip. I know I'm not the only one in the family who feels this thing. I knew it. That's what I hate about people. They're cowards. Liars. They will not admit how much they love someone, and not until they're gone. This is what makes me feel freaky and keep me drowning in guilt. I should have told him how much I love him. How much I care. I should have hugged and kissed him while he's still alive and took care of him. But I was the most stupid person on Earth, and I failed on doing that. I was ashamed to let my feelings out. I was scared of the laughs they will throw at me. Then, he's gone and I can't do anything but watch my tears roll down my cheeks. He doesn't know how much he broke my heart for leaving. I'm still weeping about his death. He didn't even see me for the last time. We didn't even spoke. He didn't even wait for me to finish this fucking college course. He didn't. I didn't. No one did.

I hope he guides me in this fucking life. Now, I have to open my eyes and embrace reality and make him an inspiration. But it still hurts, a lot, so much. I can't move on. I feel so sad, and nothing will ever happen if I stay sad. This pain won't ever go away, how can I make it go away. ='((

I'm a silent weeping fucker. I really feel bad today. I need help.

update

I heart Julyber. Yes, its July and its cold, so plus the -ber. I don't have much to say and talk about. I have a lame school life, almost demolished social life and a Coke zero love life. So what will make me happy at this times? Answer: random thoughts.

I keep myself happy, coz there's no sense in wearing a frown. Seeing my crushcrushcrush makes me fucking happy and make coming to school a worthy moment. I wish I can see him more often. Yihee. Eating ice cream makes me happy. Being with friends makes me happier. And watching the Spoiled Brat makes me happy to infinity. LOL.

I was a having a push on starting so rant about The Confessions of a Fucking Hopeless Romantic. I hope I can start on this soon.

I told you, I'm random.

=)

A love note for the one I really love:

I want to hold you in my arms and squeeze you tight. But I can't.
I want to hug you and never let go.
You are my only refuge, my only hope, my only love.
I will never run to anyone else, except you.
Only you can make me say everything and I offer it to you.
I miss you so much. I love you, my blog.